Cross-posted at Jewesses with Attitude
Why have an American actor and Israeli model become hot topics for the Jewish press ? Lehava, a Jewish organization created to prevent assimilation, recently sent a letter to Bar Rafaeli, a prominent Israeli supermodel, not to marry DiCaprio because it would be bad for Judaism. Some excerpts from the letter:
It is not by chance that you were born Jewish….Your grandmother and her grandmother did not dream that one of their descendants would one day remove the family’s future generations from the Jewish people… Assimilation has forever been one of the enemies of the Jewish people.
Well, Lehava certainly has chutzpah, to say the least. I don’t think that it’s their place to be telling an independent woman (or man) who to marry, but it does bring up the interesting issue of what happens when a prominent Jewish figure marries out. While Bar Rafaeli may not be a political or religious figure, she is an Israeli supermodel famous around the globe, and that certainly counts for something in terms of influence. So what kind of example does it set if she chooses to intermarry? (Which she has denied, by the way).
Read the rest at Jewesses with Attitude
I think that you pose a very interesting question; however, since I am not Jewish it is hardly my place to comment. I will say that I am very interested in reading the responses that this post generates.
I am a result of an intermarriage, my mother is Sami/Norwegian/Blackfoot, my father was a Polish Ashkenazi Jew. Does that make me “an enemy of the Jewish people” then, since I’m the result of “assimilation” even though I was raised the be proud of ALL my heritages?
I can understand the worries about losing Jewish identity when marrying a non-Jew and having mixed-heritage children, but you know what? Judaism has been mixed for thousands of years. There are Jews from all races and colours, all different cultures. We should celebrate the diversity of Judaism instead of condemning love. I can say as a daughter of an interfaith marriage, that discrimination against mixed marriages and their children does a LOT more to harm Judaism than the act of intermarriage itself.
I agree with you—you’re not an “enemy of the Jewish people,” and describing intermarriages like that only serves to isolate intermarried couples and their offspring. I do agree that if people were more accepting of intermarriage that it would not be such of a big deal, and perhaps more people would stay connected to Judaism after. Having said that, however, I don’t believe that the Jewish community should encourage intermarriage. Intermarriage does more than simply make Judaism “diverse,” as the kind of diversity you are discussing is not necessarily even conducive to offspring retaining any sort of Jewish identity or observance. There needs to be acceptance of intermarriage as a reality, for sure, and focus on inclusion of intermarried couples, but there is a delicate balance between doing so while at the same time not promoting intermarriage.
I’m a child of intermarriage, too, but both my parents are essentially atheist so I can’t really comment on how that influenced my religious upbringing (very low key).
Thankfully, my parents were not reactionaries on the intermarriage question. They would have loved it if my sister and I married nice, Jewish doctors. But they got one daughter who married a Catholic, Costa Rican followed by a Hindu from Guyana. And another daughter who is an atheist, against marriage, and living with a German, atheist Catholic.
They got over it.
People who feel like their identity is hated and attacked tend to react, often not very positively. That’s how I look at the intermarriage issue – a very negative reaction to centuries of people trying to make you disappear. And I understand that to some degree. But it still wrong.
Besides, how fragile do people think their culture and history is? Nobody can just make their history disappear, even if they want to. We are our parents and grandparents and histories. That doesn’t disappear no matter who you love.
While I agree that much of the Jewish reaction to intermarriage stems from the fact that for years people have felt that Judaism was being attacked (which, in many cases, has been true), I disagree with you on the issue of whether or not a culture can disappear. Much of what makes America what it is is the fact that it is a melting pot, in which many cultures come together and coexist, usually at the cost of the individual cultures. In America many cultures and their respective histories and customs have simply become watered down, and the reaction to intermarriage is out of fear that that would happen. I do believe that the fear is legitimate.
I understand what you mean when you say that it is “wrong.” Living in the postmodern world, the Jewish perspective on intermarriage seems outdated and bigoted, and I am glad that your parents did not overreact at your choices. However, in order for Judaism to remain intact and not become watered down, I don’t think that Judaism as a religion should encourage intermarriage. It should, however, recognize it as a reality.
This post got me thinking. And I’ve finally gotten those thoughts down. Thanks for the inspiration.
http://www.broadsnark.com/does-culture-disappear/
OK, not Jewish, either, but I’ve always understood that, for most religious Jews, Jewishness is passed through the mother. So, doesn’t that mean that Ms. Rafaeli’s children would be considered Jewish?
Yes, her children would be Jewish. Lehava was just freaking out because of what the marriage would represent.
Ok why is it that jews are the most vocal about OTHERS wanting to preserve their heritage and calling them haters and hate groups. This is not different from David Duke and other segregationists. LEHAVA has no publicity because they know what it will do if people started talking it would prove everyones point. Jews have some balls. Is he good for Judaism? I s SHE good for Chriatianity, who are you to say that it is no accident she was born jewish as if she is better tha a non jew.. this is the sht people are talking about.. you deny it yet I know because i live amongst yu in nyc and see your mo.. How can you hate on whites or blacks that oppose interracial marriage yet yu do the same thing? Even with ethiopian jews yu only use them for demographic purposes and have them in dangers way to spite the palestinians.. I used to defend jews due to what theyhave gone throughg but after reading the haaretz and other jewish blogs etc to know who you really are I understand why you have been expelled frm like every country.. you are isolationists that have a severe superiority complexes and are the worst employers and landlords on earth.. ugh is she too good as a jew please it should be about her choice you try to act as if you care about her choice then digress and say ” but…” because you have the same mindset..
In response to a few of your comments:
Lehava is a group of some Jews, not all. And while I did write about the interesting issues that the Lehava article brings up, I also clearly stated that I believe that Judaism should work on being inclusive, rather than exclusive. As do many, many Jews. However, among all ethnic groups, including but not limited toJews, there are always people who do fear intermarriage, and that is to be expected.
That being said, I don’t see any correlation between what I wrote about and being landlords, employers, etc. Or the expulsion of Jews from countries.